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"Jin. You look like shit." Rhys' dry observance made Jintesh smile. He hadn't looked in a mirror lately, but he'd spent a long time crying, and then he'd walked back to his own apartment and slept in his clothes. He ran his fingers through his hair; it was stiff with gel and grime.

"Yeah, so tell me something new. Listen, did you hack Nimbus again?" He was surprised to see anger on Rhys' face. "What happened?"

"I hacked 'em, yeah. I got the file for you. And the very next night, you know what? Some fuck broke into our place while we were asleep. Trashed my console, and stole my backup of the file. Didn't touch anything else in the place."

"Trashed?" Jin stared in disbelief. "How bad?"

"Oh, it's still in one piece. But the insides.." Rhys shook her head, her expression mournful; she considered her console to be her best friend. "It's going to take me a week to fix the damn thing. Still --" she paused, and then grinned triumphantly. "I had a nasty feeling after what happened last time, so I kept more than one backup of that file. In some place a little more secret."

"You still have it? You think whoever stole it would think of that?" Jin paused to think for a moment. "Do you think it was Nimbus who took it?"

"I don't know." Rhys shrugged. "I don't think so. They're more or less a corp. If they knew it was me, I think I'd be dead by now."

"But who else would know?"

"You tell me. You haven't been talking, have you? 'Cause I haven't, and neither has Laran."

"I haven't told anyone. I told Taisho what I knew, but I didn't say who I got it from."

"Hmm." Rhys scratched at her hair thoughtfully. "It doesn't make any sense. But I'll tell you something -- after all this damned effort, I'm sure going to enjoy finally pulling that file to pieces and getting every little bit of information out of it."

"Ahh." Jin hesitated. "Well, that's kinda why I threaded you. I don't want you to open it after all." He hated to say it; he could hear the enthusiasm in her voice. But after his fight with Krispin.. he didn't want to know anymore. He'd cried himself into a stupor, and then he'd walked, aimlessly, hopelessly, trying to make sense of everything. Trying to figure out how he'd become this obsessive, possessive creature and not even realised it.

"You what!?" Rhys was staring at him, aghast. "You've just up and decided to change your mind?"

"I.." He couldn't stare into that pale face, those disbelieving eyes, and not feel like a complete shit. He lowered his gaze to his hands. "I'm hurting Krispin. It's messing him up. I don't want to risk it anymore."

"After all the risks you've taken already? All the risks I've taken already? I've finally got what you wanted, I can finally pull it apart successfully and answer all those questions you have, and you just tell me to let it go?"

"Yes!" He dared to look up at her again; she was furious now, the disbelief gone. "I'm sorry, Rhys, I didn't mean to put you in so much danger, but now I'm in danger of losing him, and I won't do that."

"You're going to lose him no matter what, anyway." Rhys' words stung, and he pulled back, closing his eyes. She was right, and he knew it. But if he was going to lose Krispin, he'd rather it not be because of his own selfishness.

"I'm sorry, Rhys!"

"Okay, okay." She sighed, and he opened his eyes again, to find her anger gone; now she just looked tired. "That was low, and I know it. I'm just a little pissed off right now. Look, tell you what. I'll keep a copy of the file, somewhere nice and safe. And if you decide you want to open it, just tell me. And in the meantime, we'll just forget all about it and get on with our lives."

"Alright." Jin found himself shaking. "Thanks. And I'm sorry. I wish I could explain it to you, but it hardly makes sense to me."

"Yeah, yeah, I know. This love thing's never easy, is it?" She gave him a wry smile, and he managed to smile back. "Keep in touch, okay Jin? You know we enjoy your miserable company."

"You got it. I'll be around. Take care." He cut the thread and leaned back with a sigh. Now that it was dealt with, he felt a little calmer. Krispin was right, like he always was.. all that mattered was that the boy needed him. And that he needed Krispin. Sure, he was scared of Nimbus. And confused. And jealous. But what they had between them -- it was above all that. It was more important than knowing. Maybe he'd have trouble getting used to that idea, but he'd get used to it all the same. He had to.

Jintesh's bike had been returned to its usual spot next to Krispin's when Jin reached Krispin's place, and that warmed him somehow. Sure, it'd been him that ran from Krispin up there, but Krispin had been angry too. Jin wouldn't have blamed the boy if he'd wanted to end it right there and then; he'd been having paranoid thoughts like that since he'd decided to let the Nimbus thing go. It would be just like his luck for Krispin to decide it was over now that Jin had finally decided to accept things.

He hiked up the stairs, and let himself into the apartment. It was dark, but he heard the soft drone of the vis-unit from another room, and he followed it down the hall. Taisho's door was open, and he peered inside; the vis-unit flickered in the far corner, the colours flashing over Taisho, sprawled in front of it, and Krispin, curled tight in his lap.

Red, blue, green washed over his silver hair, his pale face, and then his eyes snapped open, meeting Jin's. They stared at each other, and Jin silently begged for Krispin to understand, to forgive him.

The boy uncurled, climbing to his feet, and walked towards Jin, stopping several steps short of him. Those mismatched eyes never wavered from his, but they were waiting for something.

"I told them to get rid of it." Jin's voice cracked, and he swallowed. "Not to find out. I don't want to know anymore. I mean it this time, Krispin. I swear."

"Honestly? Truly?" Krispin stood his ground, hands behind his back.

"Honestly. I.. I need you. Nothing's more important. Nothing's worth risking that." He reached out, caressing Krispin's cheek, remembering the first time he'd seen that beautiful face, those laughing eyes.

Krispin turned his head, soft lips kissing the palm of Jin's hand, and he whispered against it, "thank you, Tesh." There was a tear trickling down his cheek, Jin saw.

"Krispin.." he pulled the boy into his arms, kissing it away, but another fell. And another. "Please, don't cry. Why are you crying?"

"Because I'm happy," Krispin laughed helplessly through his tears. "Don't ask me, I don't get it either." He pulled Jin's head down to his, lips salty as he kissed him, and Jin let himself drown in those tear streaked kisses, hoping this would be the last time he'd ever make Krispin cry.

Krispin seemed different after that; a little quieter, more thoughtful, less bouncy. He was still the wild spirit he'd always been, but there was a subdued edge to his playfulness, and Jin began to worry about him. Did Krispin still not believe him, about letting things go? Or had Jin already pushed too far, and Krispin was breaking apart?

Yet life went on as it always had, and they partied and loved and lusted as hard as ever. Krispin and Taisho made their music, and Jintesh made his games.

It was only a week later that Krispin vanished again, on another of his wanders; they were riding home from a party and lost him along the way. Jin and Taisho resolved to each other not to worry, and then both of them worried silently for the three long days until Krispin returned. He was furious when he arrived, slamming into his room and throwing furniture and belongings every which way, breaking yet another vis-unit. But he calmed down of his own accord, and let things go back to normal.

The next day, Krispin asked Jintesh to go riding around the slums with him.

"It's been ages since I just rode around. I want to go look at some of the places I used to hang out." Krispin's beguiling grin was one Jin could never resist, and he grinned back, putting aside his kit. Krispin had pulled him out of the looms to beg, but he'd only been reading the data conferences anyway.

"Sure. So I get to see all the weird places you used to go when you were a boring nobody, huh?" He winked as he pulled on his boots and coat.

"I'm still a boring nobody, I just dress better," Krispin laughed as he pulled Jin towards the door. "C'mon, we'll start with someplace that sells food. I'm starving!"

Krispin had lived a little deeper in the slums, in an area unfamiliar to Jintesh. They ate first, at an old cafe that made the spiciest broth Jin had ever eaten; his eyes didn't stop watering until they left, and Krispin teased him about it the whole time. Then the boy led him around, pointing out places he'd frequented, stores he'd bought from, others he'd stolen from, even the place he'd bought his first bass guitar. Krispin seemed so happy, the hesitance that had been bothering Jin gone, and Jin wondered why Krispin didn't come back here more often.

Eventually Krispin paused in front of a dreary looking apartment block, gesturing cheerfully to the tiny windows above.

"This is where I used to live! Whatcha think? Pretty nasty looking, ne?"

Jin grinned. "You got that one right. What floor?"

"Fourth." Krispin stepped forward, towards a pair of teenage boys sitting arguing on the front steps. "Hey, do you guys live here?"

"What's it to you?" one boy asked, both of them immediately on the defensive at the intrusion.

"I used to live here, is all."

"You don't look familiar."

"My name's Krispin." Krispin tilted his head to one side, thoughtful. "I think I remember you. You're.. Yorke, right?" The boy's eyes widened, then narrowed again.

"Maybe. But you're not Krispin."

"What do you mean?" Krispin's face had paled slightly.

"There was a Krispin here, but he woulda been heaps older than you. And he had brown hair." The boys studied him a moment longer, and then, in some sort of silent agreement, jumped to their feet and ran inside the building, clattering up the stairs.

"Weird." Jin turned to Krispin, expecting the boy to laugh it off, but he was shaking. "Krispin? Hey, are you okay?"

"I know him.. I do.." Krispin's voice was faint.

"I believe you." Jin closed the space between them, pulling Krispin into his embrace. "He's just a kid. They forget everything." He didn't understand why not being recognised had bothered Krispin so deeply.

"But.." Krispin shivered harder for a moment, and then stopped. "I guess you're right." He attempted a smile. "I just expected people to remember me, was all. You know me and my moods."

"Maybe they wanted to forget those," Jin offered, and was relieved to see Krispin's smile widen.

"Good point. Can't say I blame 'em. Yeah, that must be it." He sighed, then turned to face the way they'd come. "I think I've had enough walking for one day. Let's go home, okay?"

"Okay." Jin let the boy free from his embrace, and took a firm hold of his hand as they began the walk back to their bikes. He saw the quietness returning to Krispin, the subdued nature that had been gone all day until now, and he wondered again just where it had come from. Did it have something to do with those boys not remembering him? But how?

Soon after, Crustacean's disc was released with plenty of fanfare; SpyraTech seemed sure of its success, advertising it prominently, and sure enough, the masses lapped it up. It seemed like the dark edge to their music was just what people wanted to hear.

Taisho liked to think that the city was in a state of decline, and the anger and pain in his lyrics expressed it well enough for the masses to understand and relate to. Krispin's opinion was that everyone was buying it because they thought Taisho was sexy. This seemed to bother Taisho, so they had the debate over and over, reducing Jintesh to fits of laughter every time.

As their popularity began to increase, they found themselves being called upon to do more concerts, as well as interviews, loom appearances, and vis clips for their songs. It was new to them, fascinating and a little scary, and Jin found himself dragged along to absolutely everything. Krispin and Taisho both wanted him to share it with them, and he delighted in it all.

It was a magical time, somehow, and Jintesh could only wish that Krispin was completely himself; a little more bounce to his step, a little more wide-eyed wonder. He couldn't place just what was missing, and he was sure that if he could only figure it out, he could make everything okay again. But he had a feeling that whatever it was, it would somehow be wrapped up in Krispin's secret with Nimbus. And he'd sworn to Krispin that he'd never touch that again.

Time flew, all caught up in Crustacean, and then Krispin wandered again. Almost like clockwork, exactly one month after the previous one. Jintesh found he was starting to get used to it, to expect it; yet it didn't stop him from worrying. Especially with Krispin's quietness.

"You think they're doing something worse to him?" he asked Taisho, the second night after Krispin had disappeared.

"You mean how quiet he's been lately?" Taisho was sitting on the kitchen bench, waiting for their dinner to heat.

"Yeah. He's getting even more withdrawn, and I just don't get it." Jin leaned against the bench next to him.

"I know." The cooker dinged softly, but Taisho ignored it for the moment. "And there's nothing specific that makes it worse, or better."

"There was one time.. he took me out to where he grew up, and he was normal and happy again. But then some kids in the building he lived in didn't recognise him, and it came back."

"Strange. He always said how glad he was to get away from there." Taisho shook his head. "Maybe he's so bothered by the way things are now that he's reminiscing to the 'good old days'." He smirked. "Though I can't imagine anything less likely."

"Me either." Jin reached for the cooker, sliding out their dinner trays. "I just wish I --" he paused, shook his head, and turned to put the trays on the table. He didn't wish he knew. He'd promised Krispin that he wouldn't.

"Understood." Taisho placed a gentle hand on his shoulder. "We'll just do what we can to make him happy, and hope it gets better. And if it doesn't, maybe we can ask some non specific questions."

"Yeah." Jintesh leaned against Taisho's strong body, and felt supporting arms around his waist. He closed his eyes for a moment, glad to have someone who understood this part of love, as well. "Thanks."

"My pleasure." Taisho kissed the top of his head, and they sat down to eat dinner.

Jintesh woke quickly to the feel of hands on his shoulders, shaking him.

"Jintesh, wake up. Krispin's on the datathread." Taisho's hands stopped shaking him as his eyes opened, but they didn't let go; the singer's grip was strong, almost painful.

"Wha..?" Jin rubbed his eyes hard, trying to bring himself fully into the waking world.

"Krispin. He wants to talk to you. He.. I think something's wrong." Taisho's normally calm face was broken by worried lines. Jin reached up, easing Taisho's hands off his shoulders.

"Okay. I'm awake. It's okay, Taisho." It wasn't often he saw the singer so upset. It struck fear into him as well, and he shivered helplessly as he climbed out of bed. He grabbed Taisho's hand, the warm touch reassuring, and led him out into the main room.

"Tesh!" Krispin's welcome voice leapt out of the datathread at Jin, and he smiled automatically, always glad to hear him again after he wandered.

"Krispin.." his voice trailed off. Taisho was right; there was something wrong. Krispin's bright eyes were wide, and he could see fear dancing in them, and pain, and something more he didn't understand. His expression was dark, an apprehension that sat completely wrong on his face.

"I need to talk to you, Tesh." Krispin sounded almost impatient now. "It's important. Can you come to the bridge? My bridge." He paused, looking past Jin for a moment. "I'm sorry, Taisho, but just Tesh."

"Alright." Jin squeezed Taisho's hand. "Just let me get dressed."

"Be quick." Krispin glanced around himself briefly. "Taisho, can you go to Yuu's place? Just for awhile. Just in case."

"In case what?" Both Jin and Taisho spoke at once, and Jin imagined Taisho had felt the same sudden ache of fear that he had.

"Nothing. Just do it, okay? See you soon, Tesh." Krispin cut the thread, and Jin stood dumbly, staring at its blank screen.

"In case what?" He asked again, wishing the thread could answer him.

"Jintesh --" Taisho shook himself once, viciously. "Gods, what has he done now? We'd better do as we're told."

"Yeah." Jin darted towards the bedroom, pulling on whatever clothes came to hand. He was still tugging on his boots as he half ran, half hopped back into the main room. Taisho, already dressed, stood waiting at the door.

They took the stairs two at a time, together, and only stopped as they reached their streambikes. Taisho turned, taking Jin's hands in his own, and they stood like that for a moment, staring at each other, drawing strength somehow from that simple touch.

"Good luck." Taisho said softly, and turned towards his bike. Jin stared, and had a sudden feeling of the end of something. Whatever Krispin was going to tell him would change everything. He reached towards Taisho's turned back, then stopped himself, trying to laugh at his own foolishness. But still --

"It's been good," he told the singer, just in case. Taisho glanced back and smiled faintly as he powered up his bike.

"It has, hasn't it?" Then the bike was darting away, vanishing around the next corner, and Jin climbed aboard his own bike, heading towards whatever Krispin had done this time.