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The cloudy sky above was still swirling in predawn darkness when Jintesh reached the crossbridges, the only illumination coming from the sparse line of lights that hung above the safety rails. The twisting knot of worry that sat uncomfortably in Jin's stomach eased somewhat at the outline of Krispin, sitting atop the rail; his feet kicked the bars, as seemingly uncared as ever, and his hair was ruffled softly by the wind. The wind brought a taste of fresh air, free from the sour tang of the city, but Jintesh barely noticed. Something was different about Krispin.

As he got closer, slowing his bike to a stop, he realised what it was. Krispin's hair no longer reached his waist. Instead, it floated in a short storm of silver to his shoulders. Jin halted his bike, gaping. Krispin loved his long hair. He boasted proudly about it; how he'd been born with hair already silver, and how soft and silky it stayed no matter how long he grew it.

"Krispin?" Jin slid off his bike, forgetting to lock it as he stepped towards the boy.

"Tesh. You were quick." Krispin glanced back over his shoulder, his eyes smiling as the nightlight caught them.

"What's wrong, Krispin? You looked really.. worried when you threaded me." Jintesh stepped closer, unsure what to say or do. He'd been right. Something was changing.

"Did I? I guess that makes sense. I guess I am." Krispin reached out a hand to him, and Jin moved forward, catching it and pressing his lips against it. Krispin's fingers were cold, and Jin wrapped his hands around them, trying to warm them. Krispin was acting strange, and it scared him.

"Why? And what was the 'just in case' that meant Taisho had to go to Yuu's? I don't know what's going on, Krispin. You've been so.. quiet lately. I'm scared for you."

"What's going on? Where do I start?" Krispin's shoulders hunched, and he leaned forward, looking over the city that hung in circles beneath him. "Everything's been going wrong. Nimbus.. me.. what a mess. I guess I fucked it up for good, this time. They think you know, Tesh. They think you figured out their secrets, and now I don't know what they're gonna do."

"They.. how? How could they think that?" Jin realised he was shaking suddenly, and he wrapped his arms around Krispin's waist, clinging to him, trying to still his shakes by burying his face into what was left of Krispin's beautiful hair. This was it. The worst of all the imaginings he could ever have had. Nimbus had finally decided they'd had enough, and now he was going to lose Krispin.

"I said something stupid. I guess it doesn't matter. But.." Krispin's gentle lips kissed away the tears Jin hadn't even realised he was crying, as the boy shifted around to face him, to lean into his embrace. "Since they think you know, I might as well tell you, ne?"

"But --" Jin shook his head, not understanding, not knowing what to do. It had become the most important thing to remember, now; that he wasn't to know the truth, the secret. And now, Krispin was just going to tell him? "No. Don't tell me. You can't take it back."

"It's too late to matter." Krispin smoothed back his hair. "Let me tell you something, Tesh. Nimbus, they run tons of experiments, mostly on different ways of controlling the human mind. Hundreds of different ways; it'd scare you shitless to hear some of the things they can do."

"Wait.." Jintesh grabbed Krispin's hands. "Don't.." This wasn't right. Krispin had spent so long trying to keep this from him, yet now he was going to tell everything. Suddenly this was not his Krispin; this was a Krispin he didn't know. What else would he do that Jintesh couldn't expect, couldn't comprehend?

"I'm just part of some lab test, Tesh. They've got us all over the place. They've got so much funding.. they can pay us off, keep us quiet, and we're all good and do what we're told." Krispin's cold fingers wrapped around Jin's hands, holding him firmly. "They picked me up when they were first putting Haze out. They were interested in my moodswings anyway, and they told me they could fix them, and give me a second eye so that I could see properly. And all in return for getting high, and then just coming and being monitored every so often. It was like a dream to a slumrat like me, y'know? My moods drove everyone away from me before that."

"Why? Why are you telling me now?"

"Because you wanted to know." Krispin's hand jerked Jin's chin up, and he stared at the boy, at his firm, unblinking eyes, as Krispin's fingers wiped away his tears. "And because now that it doesn't matter.. I need you to know. I hated keeping secrets from you."

Jin tried to pull away from his grasp, to get away from his calm voice that was tearing to pieces everything that made sense. Krispin's secrets, bared before him; Krispin's life bought and sold for a corp lab experiment. And the cost of knowing about it. But Krispin's fingers held him firmly.

"Back then, it didn't matter to me, that it might be dangerous. Because all I had was myself, and by then I was almost beyond caring if I lived or died. My moods controlled me, and I hated what they'd made of me. But with Nimbus..." Krispin's shoulders shrugged, helplessly. "I could be me. And so I did whatever I wanted. And then one day, I met Taisho. And then one day, I met you." Krispin leaned forward, planting a gentle kiss upon Jin's forehead.

"Then things started to matter. I tried to leave Nimbus, to let go, but it was too late. So I just hoped that I could hold you for as long as I could. Until I fucked it up."

"What now, then?" Jin whispered, though he was almost afraid to ask. Krispin seemed so calm, all through this insane story that had chilled Jin both inside and out, leaving him shivering and covered with goosebumps. "Now they think I know. Now I do know. Do they kill us both? Do we both run and hope we don't get caught?"

"Neither." Krispin reached into his shirt, and pulled out something soft. He held it out to Jin. "Here, what do you think?"

"Your hair?" Jin stared in confusion at the silver bundle in his hand.

"I braided it for you. I think short hair suits me, don't you?" Krispin wrapped his arms around Jin, holding him tight. Jin felt warm breath against his ear, and heard a whisper so faint it could've been his imagination. "I love you.."

And then Krispin pulled away again. "I know them; without me as proof, they won't hurt you now for knowing. You're safe, and so is Taisho. And finally, I can try to fly!" He pulled out of Jin's grasp, and even as Jin fathomed what his words meant, and tried to grab ahold of him, the boy was twisting away, his sneakered feet pushing off from the safety rail.

"Krispin!" Jin found himself yelling, the name tearing at his throat, as he reached out, helplessly, uselessly. Krispin seemed to hover in the air for just a second, and Jin imagined that he saw an outline of soft, feathered wings holding him aloft. It seemed as though Krispin was really flying, finally free as he'd always dreamed.

And then the vision was gone, and the boy was tumbling down into the city below, his giggles echoing up, all that was left for Jintesh to grab hold of. Jin sank to his knees, the soft braid of hair squeezed between his fingers, as he stared at the winking lights of the city. The tears, only just gone, sprang from his eyes, and he howled, curling into a tight ball around Krispin's hair, refusing to accept what had just happened.

And he was still curled there, sobbing, when Taisho finally found him, hours later.

Jintesh didn't remember much of the next few days. Taisho's strong arms supporting him, Taisho's tears joining with his; the singer already knew, before Jin told him. Taisho somehow got him down from the bridge, brought him home.

He remembered being taken to a huge, ugly building higher in the city, in custody to answer questions. He remembered seeing a logo for Nimbus, and flying into a rage at the sight of it, Taisho holding him down and telling him that it didn't matter anymore.

And Yuu was there, too; he didn't understand why, but the brooding rhythmist slouched in the seat next to them as they waited, his face dazed and his black eyes flat and glassy.

"He told me he wanted Jin to play bass." Yuu's voice was as dazed as his expression, and Jin grabbed him, demanding to know what he was talking about. "He threaded me. Probably right before he threaded you. Just to tell me that. I didn't even get it, but he said I would. Yeah, I would." Yuu pushed Jin's hands away, roughly. "And that Taisho was coming over, and I had to take care of him. I thought he was Hazing again.." The rhythmist slouched in his chair again, his hands coming up to cover his face.

When they finally questioned Jin, all they wanted to know was what he knew. They were Nimbus, he saw the logo on their suits, and he yelled at them, letting out his anger on their expensive clothes and smug faces. They didn't care, he could see that. And when he finally spat at them what he knew, threw in their faces all that Krispin had told him -- they laughed at him.

"That's it? Who cares, then? Get out of here." And he was dismissed, just like that. He almost leaped upon them, his furious anger set to kill, but Krispin's words echoed in his mind. 'You're safe. And so is Taisho.' All he had to cling to now was that Krispin had killed himself to keep them alive. He owed it to Krispin to stay that way, then, no matter that he wanted to follow those giggles straight off the edge of the bridge.

So instead of killing them, he turned and walked out, found Taisho and let himself fall apart in Taisho's arms. And let Taisho fall apart in his.

And he barely remembered Yuu driving them home, barely remembered days and nights of nightmares and listlessness, of mingled tears and tangled sheets. He did not remember that a week went by, or that Yuu stayed with them and fed them, or anything beyond his pain. Without Krispin, he did not know how to survive. Taisho was the closest solace he could find, and the only reason he could think to keep going, yet Krispin's presence lingered in every gaze, every embrace, every tear stained kiss.

Late one morning Jintesh awoke, and realised that he was hungry. Ravenously so. He crept into the kitchen, careful not to disturb Taisho, still asleep in bed, or Yuu, who had taken to sleeping on one of the large sofas.

He served out a bowl of grain, and began to eat. He was only half finished when he heard a quiet knock at the door. It startled him, and he almost dropped his bowl. He shivered, took a step toward the door, then stopped. He didn't know if he could deal with outside contact. He couldn't even deal with himself right now.

As he put down his bowl, the knock came again, louder. Yuu stirred on the sofa, and that decided Jin. He didn't want Yuu to have to get up; he'd barely realised that the rhythmist had stayed there all week, but he felt a little more clear headed this morning, and he knew Yuu had been watching over them carefully. The poor guy needed some sleep.

Jin pulled the door open, and blinked in surprise. Of all the people he'd expected to see, Rhys wasn't one of them. Her pale face was set in an expression of sympathetic pain.

"Jin. I didn't know if you'd be up to seeing anyone," she ventured after a moment.

"Me either." Jin rubbed at his face, suddenly wondering how he looked. He hadn't been near a mirror all week.

"I'm.. we're both really sorry --"

"Don't. Please." He cut her off before she could get any further. "I'm trying real hard not to think about it."

"Okay." Her face was grave. "But.. there was some things I thought you might like to know. Now that.. well, now that it doesn't matter if you know." He stared at her. His mind automatically tried to think about Krispin, and he winced; gods, it hurt even to picture him, to think his name, to imagine his teasing eyes or his wild giggles. But he had to. Didn't he? He couldn't spend the rest of his life avoiding thinking about the one person who'd made it worth living.

"Maybe I should come back later." Rhys' voice intruded on his thoughts, and he focused on her pale face. Krispin. He forced himself to think it, to hurt it. He was used to pain, right?

"What is it, Rhys? Kr --" his mouth stumbled over the name; "he told me about the Haze tests they did."

"I know. But he didn't tell you everything. Maybe he didn't know everything, I'm not sure."

"Everything?" Jin's mind snapped to attention; despite the pain, despite the part of him that constantly wanted to curl up in a ball and howl in agony. Krispin was -- had been -- his life. He wanted to know everything that had made him who he was. So that he could treasure Krispin, keep him alive inside his mind.

"Yeah. I.. well, he wasn't just just a part of a Haze experiment, Jin. He was an experiment." Rhys ran one hand through her hair, nervously. "I pulled apart everything in that file. They didn't pick him up off the street. They grew his body, seven years ago, in a lab. I don't pretend to understand that sort of science, but.." She shrugged, meeting Jin's wide-eyed stare. "They implanted memories into his brain, gave him his personality and his moodswings and his defect eye, the whole lot. Then they let him loose in the slums. The Haze was a way of having him on a leash."

Jin's mind span, almost fast enough to make him sick. For a moment he could barely see her, his eyes spinning as well. Krispin was born in a lab? What did it mean?

"Why?" he managed to croak out, finally.

"I don't know." Rhys' voice was soft now. "Whoever was meant to read the file already knew, I guess. But they talked a lot about how he interacted with people, and how he spun the looms. They were the important parts."

"Gods." Jin tried to imagine Krispin in a lab, his body being formed in some sterile chamber. His happy, vibrant personality being designed by one of those smug Nimbus bastards who'd questioned him. "Seven years. That's all the life he's had? Seven years?" Suddenly it hurt all over again. Never mind that he was made rather than born; Krispin had still been real. And it hurt that someone so vibrantly alive had had so little time to enjoy being so.

"I just wanted you to know, Jin. Even if he didn't. I thought.." she trailed off, unsure; Jintesh could feel the tears flowing down his cheeks.

"Thank you, Rhys." He reached out and clasped her hand, and she squeezed his back. "Thanks." Helpless to say anymore, he watched her as she walked away.

Jin sensed movement in the room, and he glanced to one side. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Taisho standing behind him. He wondered how much Taisho had heard. Probably all of it.

"He did know." Jin spoke to the open doorway in front of him. "He knew it."

"I know." Taisho's arms slid around him from behind, comforting, his warm body moulding against Jin's. Jin breathed deeply; Taisho's scent still reminded him of Krispin, and it hurt, but it was a different kind of hurt today.

"Just think, Jintesh. For such a short life, we were lucky to know him as long as we did." Taisho's breath tickled his ear, and he felt warm tears on his shoulder.

"We were, Taisho." He turned around, returning the embrace, the pain, and the love. "We should make the most of it." He pressed a gentle kiss against Taisho's salty lips, and wondered if this was the beginning of that thing they called healing.