choose style
black
grey
white

The warehouses were dark and grimy on the outside, and the inside wasn't much better looking. It was brighter, though, lights hung at every available spot to keep the twisting tracks safely lit. Krispin skidded his bike to a halt just inside the entrance, and Jintesh followed, slowing to a more sedate stop. He loved the way Krispin rode, but he didn't think he should start being so risky just yet.

"Nice, eh?" Krispin gestured around. "And like I said, no-one here." Only two other streambikes were squealing around the tracks, and their riders ignored Krispin and Jin.

"Nice," Jin agreed. "But you really expect me to be able to ride around that without falling on my arse?"

"No." Krispin giggled. "That's the whole point. The more you fall off, the more you learn how not to fall off. And it's safer here. The ground's softer for falling."

"Great. My arse thanks you for your thoughtfulness." Jin powered his bike again as Krispin laughed, and he gauged the winding tracks. "Where do I start?"

"Wherever you like. Follow me if you want. I'll start you on the easiest ones." Krispin's bike roared as he bounced it off the nearest kerb, flying into the air for a few short moments and landing on the tracks on the other side.

"Oh, good start! Thanks!" Jin yelled after him, and looked around for an easier entrance. He found a narrow strip of track, and rode down it, meeting up with a gleeful Krispin at the other end.

"C'mon, I gotta show off a little. I've got a reputation to uphold."

"Not to me you don't." But Jin grinned to show he didn't really mind. "Can we be sedate now?"

"Maybe!" Krispin leaned over his bike again and shot off down the track. Jintesh hit the speed, pushing his bike to catch up. He was doing fine until the first tight corner, where he and the bike did a neat flip and landed in a sprawled heap next to the track. Cursing, he righted both of them.

"First of a hundred!" He heard Krispin yelling, and he made rude gestures in the boy's direction as he powered the bike up again. But he was still grinning. Falling or not, he was elated. He'd never wanted transport before, never needed it. He'd never wanted to ride a streambike either, after hearing all the tales about streamriders. But ever since he'd first ridden with Krispin, he'd realised that there was a reason streamriders were the way they were; because the power and wildness that you felt when you were connected to the bike, speeding along with nothing between you and the air, or the wind, or the ground below -- that feeling was something you couldn't explain. And something that made you a little wild yourself, that gave you a taste of freedom. It was a taste he wanted to keep.

Krispin was right about falling; by the time they'd raced the morning away, his butt, his knees and his hands ached from hitting the ground too many times. And his bike was no longer quite so shiny. But he was learning. He was learning how to judge the bike; how far he could push it, how tight he could take a turn and how fast he could go without being too dangerous.

Finally Krispin waved him down from the side of the track, and he skidded to a halt, managing -- just -- to keep the bike upright and keep himself on it. He grinned at Krispin, and the boy grinned back.

"You're looking good, Tesh. You hungry? I'm starving. Gotta be after lunchtime by now."

"Already?" Jin blinked in surprise, and then realised that he was indeed hungry. "Yeah, you must be right. My stomach's growling."

"I think it's talking to mine." Krispin winked. "Shall we eat? Let's go to your bridge, ne? That'd be cool."

"Sure." He hadn't been there in awhile; the comfort of his relationship with Krispin, and the change it had effected on his life, had made him more stable in some ways, and he didn't quite need the desperate, dark solitude that the bridge gave him. But he still loved the place. "Where'll we get food?"

"Just follow me; you know my stomach knows every damn eathouse in the city." Krispin spun his bike towards the entrance, and Jin was quick in turning his to follow.

Jintesh and Krispin sat shoulder to shoulder on the bridge's edge, their legs swinging between the rails of the safety bar. They rested their lunch in their laps, and set about feeding themselves and each other, unmindful of the crumbs and bits of food falling over the edge into the city below. Krispin giggled and teased, and Jin, still feeling light, gave as good as he got.

But the wild high of the morning slowly evaporated, and Jintesh found his thoughts returning to his conversation with Rhys and Laran. To his fears for Krispin's safety. He looked at Krispin again, and saw the tiredness behind his laughter, and the dark smudges under his eyes.

They finished their food, and Krispin pulled out his cigarettes, offering one to Jin. Jin took it, and silence fell as they both set about lighting them and inhaling. Jin exhaled, and then spoke before the conversation went back to giggles and he lost his nerve.

"Krispin, you look awfully tired."

"I do?" Krispin reached up, rubbing at his eyes. "Didn't get enough sleep, I guess. Been busy."

"Busy?" Jin jumped on the word, hoping for more explanation, but Krispin just shrugged.

"Yeah." The boy took a drag on his cigarette, and then glanced up at Jin, his eyes narrowed. "You trying to figure me out?"

"I.." Jin hesitated, not sure if Krispin was annoyed. "I'm worried about you."

"Well, don't be. I'm fine, and everything is cool." Krispin gave him a reassuring smile, but as they stared at each other, the smile faded, and Krispin looked away, out over the lights of the city. "I know. Just telling you isn't enough, is it?"

"Not really." Jin sighed. "I mean, you say it like it's real, and I try to believe you, but then things happen to you, and I get scared."

"Things happen to everyone. It's all ups and downs, right?"

"Maybe. But there's so much to you that you don't tell."

Krispin head snapped back to look at him again, eyes challenging. "What about you? You never tell, either. You never tell who fucked you over, and I know someone did."

"I.." Jin blinked. Krispin was right, but.. "It hurts, still. That's why I don't talk about it. If you wanted to know, I'd tell you. But with you, it's different. You wouldn't tell even if I asked and asked."

Those eyes challenged him for a moment longer, but then Krispin sighed, and looked away again. "Yeah. I know." The boy's gaze wandered over the far-off buildings, and Jin watched him, seeing his expression turn sad. "Gods, there's some times I almost do, some times I wish I could, I just want to turn around and tell you everything. You, you take me just as I am. You and Taisho, you're the only two who ever have. Everyone else, they can't deal with me."

"Krispin.." Jin reached out, touching the boy's face, but Krispin shied away.

"Let me --" he shook his head. "Tesh, I can't tell you. It's not my choice. If I knew that I'd meet you, maybe I wouldn't have done things the way I have. So that I could be free to tell you everything about me." He paused. "Or maybe I would've, so that I'd still be around to meet you." Krispin turned to face him, and Jin saw pain in his eyes, even as he smiled, bitterly. "I won't let anything hurt you. Ever. But if I told you the truth, you'd get hurt. Not by me, but you'd get hurt. I don't want to lose what you give me."

Jin stared at Krispin, his mind whirling, his worst fears revealing themselves in Krispin's words, in Krispin's pained gaze. It was true. Krispin was caught up in something dangerous, something so big that there was nothing Jin could do to protect him.

"Krispin, I know --" his voice choked on the words, and he swallowed. "It's the Haze, isn't it? And you're non-existant on the looms, everything covered up like you're not real. Someone big is messing with your head or something, aren't they?"

Krispin stared back, and his expression faded, his face becoming drawn, blank. "Don't, Tesh." He leaned forward, wrapping his arms around Jin, pulling him close, burrowing his face in Jin's shoulder. "Don't. Don't try and figure it out. Don't try and find out. Don't ask me. Please, let it be and just.. try and trust me. It's better and safer if you don't know."

"I want to help you," Jin whispered in his ear, but Krispin shook his head, pulling away.

"You can't!" His eyes were blazing suddenly, angry. "Don't you get it? You can't help me! It's beyond you, it's beyond anyone's control. You just have to deal with it or else let me go! There's no middle ground!"

Jin cringed in surprise at Krispin's sudden anger, and as he stared at Krispin sitting there, wild and furious but so beautiful and alive, he understood. Krispin was right. There was no choice. If Krispin said deal with it or let go, then he would have to deal with it. Because he wasn't letting Krispin go anywhere.

"Alright," he said, holding up his arms in an offer of peace. "I'm sorry. It scares me. But if there's nothing I can do, just.." he sighed. "Let me just hold you and.. and not ask questions."

"You mean it?" Krispin's anger was gone as quickly as it had come.

"I mean it." Jin reached out his hands, and Krispin allowed himself to be pulled into an embrace.

"I'm sorry, Tesh. I know it hurts you to not know. But it would hurt you more to know."

"It's okay. I'll get used to it." He hugged Krispin tight, stroking his hair gently. Krispin's anger had knocked the last of the stupor from him, the sluggishness that had been hanging since he first realised how big Krispin's secret might be. He had to help Krispin, and he helped Krispin best by not knowing. But he was also sure that there had to be some way out of whatever it was that Krispin was tangled up in. He'd promised Krispin he wouldn't try and figure it out, but he hadn't promised that Rhys wouldn't, now had he?

They ended up back at Jin's place, with the lights off, and in the semi-darkness they made love, hard and fast. Krispin had an edge to him, despite his tiredness, a stubborn wildness that Jin thought perhaps he himself had put there with his words, his worry, his accusations.

They lay panting and sprawled across the bed afterwards, fingers linked as they both stared up at the ceiling. Jintesh felt a relaxed drowsiness wash over him, and he was almost asleep when Krispin spoke.

"Did you talk to Taisho?"

"Yeah." Jin turned his head slightly, taking in Krispin's wiry form, looking beautiful as he lay naked on the bed.

"He okay?" Krispin turned to meet his gaze.

"I think so. He worries too. And he's lonely."

"I know." Krispin sighed. "I keep trying to find someone for him, someone who'll distract him, but he can't let go. And I don't want to let go of him, either."

"There's no middle ground there, either, is there?" Jin wondered how the two of them had survived the last three years, dancing around each other's affections, never quite holding on, never quite letting go.

"Nope. I'm too selfish to give him up completely. Besides, I need him."

"He knows that, too." Jin grinned, remember his conversation with Taisho. "Krispin, let's help him, some. Give him something more. I hate seeing that loneliness in him."

"You want to?" Krispin rolled onto his side, facing Jintesh, his gaze curious. "No jealousy? I've tried it a few times but it gets messy. You give too much attention to one and the other gets jealous."

"But we're the only two who stick around, aren't we?" Jin shrugged, reaching out to play with Krispin's hair. "He needs you, just like I do. And.. I like him, too. We could -- I don't know. We could try."

"Okay." Krispin smiled at him, and then he found himself in the boy's embrace, arms squeezing him tightly. "But you're number one, got that? I need you more than anything."

"Vice versa." Jintesh kissed those smiling lips, tasting Krispin's sweetness, and then smiled as well. "You're the best thing I've ever had in my life."

"Let's keep it that way," Krispin murmured, pulling him closer, kissing him harder, and Jin let himself be taken over. And vowed that he was never going to let Krispin get away from him, not to Haze, not to whoever was messing with his mind, not to anything.

When the morning came, Krispin suggested they return to his place; to talk to Taisho, and to just hang out. Jintesh nodded his agreement.

"But I gotta make a few threads first. You wanna go on ahead? I won't be long." He grinned. "And I've got my own transport now, after all."

"True." Krispin returned the grin, and added a kiss to Jin's. "Alright. Be quick. We'll both be missing you otherwise." He embraced Jin quickly, and then he was vanishing out the door.

Jin watched him go, and then turned to the datathread with a sigh of relief. He needed to talk to Rhys, and that was something he couldn't do with Krispin around. Not if he didn't want to anger the boy, at any rate.

The datathread was answered by Laran, and the dj looked relieved to see him.

"Jin! How are you doing? Things okay?"

"Yeah." Jin smiled reassuringly. "Thanks. I'm alright. Krispin's back, too."

"And how's he?" Laran raised an eyebrow.

"Okay. Good. He's better now. But he won't tell me where he goes. He said it's too dangerous for me to know. Is Rhys around? Do you know if she's found anything? I don't want to waste too much of your time, but I can't ask about it while Krispin's around, either."

"Understood." Laran grinned. "Trying to help him behind his back, eh?"

"Yeah." Jin shrugged. "I can't just do nothing."

"I know. Rhys found some stuff; hang on and I'll get her. She'll be able to explain it more coherently than me." The dj vanished from the threadscreen, and Jin waited patiently until Rhys' face appeared.

"Jin. You look better." Rhys was as serious as ever. Jin grinned at her.

"Yeah. Thanks for those pills. They helped a lot."

"No problem. Listen, I've been looking around. Your Krispin's friends like to cover their tracks. The ghost of an identity that hangs around most of the coverups on him all lead to a person who doesn't exist. The creation of that person leads to another nonexistant. And so on. They want you to give up in disgust before you get anywhere."

"Did you?" Jin almost laughed at the indignant expression on Rhys' face.

"What do you think I am, a streetspinner or something?" Rhys shook her head. "In the end, everything leads back to one place. It's a company called Nimbus. The slums mostly credit them as being the corp that first put Haze on the streets."

"Then you were right." Jin shivered; guessing something and actually knowing it were two different things. So it all came back to Krispin's Haze addiction.

"Yeah. They really want Krispin to not exist as far as any records go. And they have some nasty security on their banks. I haven't broken it yet. I almost got caged."

"You?" Jin blinked in disbelief. Rhys was the best hacker he knew, and from what he heard around the slums, she was one of the best that anyone knew.

"Yeah. They really don't want people getting in. Listen, be careful. If they've that much control on Krispin, chances are they know everything about you, too. Probably watch you half the time. Don't do any hacking on them, okay? I may know how to dodge a threadcage, but you don't. And don't talk to Krispin about it. He says anything, they may be listening and you're done."

"He won't tell. I pushed him and he said I'd get hurt if he did." Jin ran his fingers through his hair, trying to calm his whirling mind. He was getting scared again. He'd never wanted to be involved in something this deep. Maybe it would've been better if he'd never asked, never tried to find out.

"He's right. I'll thread you if I get anything else."

"I'm going to Krispin's for awhile. Maybe a few days, I don't know."

"I can't thread you about it there. I'll leave a thread with your boss. Something boring. Thread me from somewhere else when you get a chance."

"Okay. Thanks, Rhys. I really appreciate this."

"Sure. 'Sides, I'm enjoying it. I don't get enough jobs this tough to crack anymore. Nice change." She winked at him. "Let me know if you need any of those pills, too."

"I'm fine."

"Good. See ya." She cut the thread.

Jin got to his feet slowly, and went about the simple task of tossing some clothes and things into a bag while he tried to calm his mind. It wouldn't look good to turn up at Krispin's in such a state. Gods, how had Krispin gotten involved in this mess? Just how hard was it going to be to disentangle him from it? If he could do it at all? And what would Krispin be like if he didn't have his Haze? Would getting him away from Nimbus actually do him any good?

It was Taisho who answered the door when Jintesh finally reached Krispin's place, and the two of them stared at each other for a moment. Then Taisho smiled, a wary smile.

"Hi. Krispin and I have been talking." He moved aside to let Jin in, shutting the door behind him.

"Oh?" Jin raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah. He said you don't mind sharing." Taisho's eyes looked slightly amused again, and Jin wondered why.

"True enough. That is, if you don't mind." He challenged Taisho's gaze with his own, and the singer laughed.

"Mind? When it means I actually get a piece of the action?"

"I thought you'd say that." Jin reached out, cautiously, to touch the singer's face, and Taisho stood still, silent as Jin's fingers traced across his cheek to his lips. Then Jin found himself pulled towards Taisho, firm arms holding him, and Taisho's damp lips were catching hold of his own, strong and wanting. He pressed up against the singer, submitting to the kiss, revelling in the difference between Taisho and Krispin. He could have them both. The thought astounded and delighted him.

When they pulled apart, they were both short of breath, and Jin stared up at Taisho's deep brown eyes.

"You're always so amused by me," he wondered, and Taisho smiled.

"I'm amused by everything. Laughter's my best defense." The singer let go of him, reaching up to brush back his own hair, and then met his gaze again. "Jintesh, thank you."

Jin smiled at all the meaning in those words. "My pleasure," he replied, and Taisho's smile widened.